I am afraid. I am very afraid

 In a couple of days I will be taking an exam. My fear of failure is overwhelming because I can't help but feel I am too old and rusty for this.

If I happen to be younger and still living with my mother, maybe she will make a list of the names of important people I am supposed to memorize. She is also the one who told me based on her quick research the exam might be about current events.

I have been adulting for so long, I no longer have any idea what is happening in the country. I do not know the names of prominent politicians and law makers, department heads and secretaries.

But my mother, she is still very sharp.

That's what mothers do. They suprisingly know everything and if they happen to not know, they find ways.

I am not sure about fathers. You are lucky if you have a helpful one, but mostly they are at least kind. Mine was one of the kindest in the planet. 

My son how I wish you had been given more time to really get to know them.

I hope wherever you are and whoever you are with, i hope there is at least one person who is teaching you to be kind.. to not hurt women or add to the already heavy burden and suffocating expectations society shoves in their throats - I hope someone is teaching you women are not merely your servants. 

So that one day if you will not become the supportive type of a head of a family, you will at least be kind and not hurt people.

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