My Love-Hate Relationship with God

Ever had those days when you feel like telling the God you grew up with -

"You never helped me. You never cared for me, not even once. You are the real manipulator. You make people thank you for curing diseases you yourself created!" 

And again you say to yourself 

"I hate God. I am no longer afraid of hell. I am already in it."

And you wish for death more than anything else in this world.